Understanding The Stages of Development: Where do our beliefs and values come from?

At our core we do things based on our beliefs and values. But where do these come from and how can we change them?

Stages of development:

  • Age 0-6 (The Imprint/Sponge-like stage) where EVERYTHING registers. Here the subconscious is an info junkie, literally absorbing all actions, behaviours and conversations that go on around us.

This is where we learn our emotions and patterns that we later adopt in life and start running the show from our autopilot, i.e our subconscious mind.

 

  • Age 7-12 (Modelling stage) where we start to copy and imitate people. We mostly model our parents, but it may be anyone else that we look up to.

This is the stage when heroes develop and we try to become those we most admire.

 

  • Age 13-21 (Socialisation period) We are largely influenced by our peers during this time. We seek those who are like-minded or look-alike. Other influences at this stage include the media, especially that which resonates with our values and that of our peer group.

This is where we begin to develop relationship and social values.

 

  • After 21 Core values don’t change unless a significant emotional event takes place.Beliefs are massively powerful in our development. After all, who are we at the age of 6 to dispute if someone says “you’ll never succeed in life”, that they aren’t telling the absolute truth. Children then internalise this and this results in that every time they give their best to succeed at something, an internal program reminds them “you’ll never succeed in life”, which subtly affects their behaviour and success eludes them. Take on that anything that is a belief, and the same rules apply.

So as we go through the developmental stages we begin to form many beliefs around who we are, what life is like, etc. These internal programs are constantly running, affecting every moment of our life.

Even one negative belief could have profound effects on an individual’s life. This is because negative beliefs influence our behaviour often without us realising it. But here is the good news: beliefs are not set in stone, they are changeable. When you think about whether you believe something, you are merely checking if there is an internal feeling associated to the meaning you’ve created about said thing.

Changing a limiting belief in a person’s life can have amazing effects in every aspect of their life. Let’s take for example if someone has the belief “I’m not worthy”, and you change it; just imagine the impact on that person’s life.

When we start to understand all of this and become aware of it, it can help us to understand what our children are going through at different stages and how to best deal with and around them. As adults, by understanding our beliefs and values we can become aware of choices that we make or those that are holding us back, and here’s the best bit: by using tools such as NLP and Hypnosis we can change beliefs quickly and easily by changing the emotional meaning we’ve created to a belief that’s holding us back.